When I walk into that place I see you. I see your shadow and I see you standing over me. I feel your presence and I move my hand to grab yours and you fade away.
When I walk into that place I want to cry. I want to walk right back out that door get back in the car and cry in the backseat. Im trapped. I walk up to that room... Sit... And try to fade away...
When I walk into that place the memories hit me with such force that its hard to stand on my own two feet. I see friends and so-called family waiting to greet me with their hands wide open. I tell them I am fine and they go away smiling and I go away crying.
When I walk into that place... I want to crawl into a corner... I want my boyfriends protection... I want his warmth... I want his hugs and kisses... I dont want to see anymore memories. I want him and only him. I want everything else to fade. Just fade until its me, him, and God.
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God will keep me warm...
God will be my protector...
God will always be there for me...
God will help me overcome those memories...
He will always keep me warm...
He will always try his hardest to protect me...
He will always be there for me... In my heart...
He will pray that me and God can overcome my memories...
God will always keep me in his arms...
God will always push me to be better...
God knows I will be someone.
He will try his hardest to keep me in his arms...
He will try his hardest to push himself and I to become better...
He knows that I will become someone better...
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God the one who will forever own my heart...
He the one who will forever have a place in my heart.
God is amazing.
God is great.
God is my everything.
He is trying to be amazing.
He is always great to me.
He will always be a part of my everything.
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I will always push him to go to God...
I will always tell him the truth...
I will always let him cry on my shoulder...
I will always let him know that I love him...
I will always push him to better himself...
I will always love him. Love him for as long as my soul can stand... And we all know a soul never dies. A good soul that is :-)
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His kisses are like a dream. They whisper against my lips. They tell me that I am beautiful. They tell me im wonderful and unstoppable.
His hugs are like a warm fuzzy blanket. I am wrapped in this love and I never want to leave.
His smile shines everytime he looks into my eyes. I see his childlike features and I love to hear his giggles. Love like this is only found in that smile.
And I am always searching for that smile.
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In the beginning...
When I first met you I saw that smile. This smile was small and quiet. This smile screamed for help. It screamed for love. When I looked into your eyes I saw your background. I saw your heartbeat. I felt your burning tears fall down my cheeks. I returned the smile and your smile all of a sudden screamed happiness.
When I first heard your voice I went weak in the knees. I wanted to stay and have you speak until night fall. My insides screamed for you not to stop. It felt like I was in a trance when you spoke. When you walked away I felt myself falling back down to the ground. I felt you walking away from a dream un-dreamt.
When I felt your warmth. When I wrapped my arms around you for the first time I felt your muscles scream to the heavens. I felt your prayer that this would be the one. I am the one. Only if you want me. I knew you wanted me to stay in your arms and I wanted to stay there.
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Today... Is never better...
When I see you today I see that smile that I saw the first day I met you. Its big and toothy and I can feel the giggle and love fly off your lips.
When you whisper your sweet voice into my ears I feel that lift into the clouds. When I talk to God I tell him about your voice. I tell him how great you are. I tell him that you are the greatest gift. I feel your voice deep down in my heart. I hear it repeat in my head. I like whispers that flow my body. I hear in and out... I love you... I love you... I love you... I will protect you... I will protect you... I will protect you...
When I see you today... We have become intertwined. I feel your warmth when I am sad. I feel your warmth when I am in need of guidance. Your warmth tells me there is a God. Your warmth still brightens my night. It makes me feel like I can stand on my own two feet. Makes me feel like I can hold your hand and we can defeat this world together. Today when I feel your warmth, I see that flashback of when I first hugged you. It was chilly around us and the warmth from our bodies took us over. I still want to be in your arms.
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I could have had anyone...
But...
I wanted you...
I love you...
I miss you...
I want you to know that I am always yours...
