I cant stop crying....

I keep thinking about the people I am going to lose... I cant handle it.. Thinking about the people who are going to fight and lose. I dont want to see his or her face on tv or in the paper... I dont want to visit their grave... Cry in their parents arms... I want to be able to kiss their cheeks and give them a big hug...

You have no idea how much it hurts... I dont want to lose you. If I did I think I would lay down and die....

New years resolution... Tell people how much they mean to me.. Even if they dont like me back. I cant lose you.. My heart cant handle it.

 A note for the people in the future I meet. I love you.

A note for the people in the past that I have met... I still love you...

A note for those I have had arguments with... I will always love you..

You have my heart you see?

Just sick of it.

~ It doesnt take a chest, an ass, and makeup to make a girl... It takes her heart~

 I hate it when a girl who doesnt look the greatest walks into a mall she is stared down as the most hidious thing anyone has ever seen. It sickens me!
 
Everybody stares... Avoids... Worries your going to do something!!
 
You are followed in certain stores... Like you never belonged there in the first place.

Good morning sunshine lover!~!

Hey Everybody! Panders is back... Sorry for the long wait. I havn't really had much to write about. I would like to start off with the fact my fascination for MUSIC! is amazing because I am finding new music everyday that I love and I just cant get enough of! Some to start off with so far is...

• The Vitamin String Quartet!
• Chris Brown
• Michael Buble!
• Train

If you want to check out some music of the Vitamin String Quartet check it out here!!

 

                                                                                                                                                                   
Now to continue... Christmas is coming up! And I have my christmas shopping all done already! I am so proud of myself. I hope the love I put into these gifts put smiles on everyones faces! Today I have to go visit my family... It will be the first christmas without my grandpa... ... .. Yeah and it really hit me when my mother recieved a letter in the mail from the funeral home. It had a poem in it that I couldnt finish 'cause I knew I would start crying... It went like this...

I still hear the songs,

I still see the lights

I still feel your love on cold wintery nights

I still share your hopes and all of your cares

I'll even remind you to please say your prayers

I just want to tell you, you still  make me proud

You stand head and shoulders above all the crowd

You dont have to be perfect all the time

He forgives you the slip, if you continue to climb

To my family and friends,

Please be thankful today

Im still close to you,

In a new special way

I love you all dearly,

Now dont shed a tear

Cause I am spending my

Christmas with Jesus this year.