Facebook... you SUCK

When I was in my pre-teens I felt like I was never going to have someone who wanted to love me. I always told my parents that I was never talking to people online, and I was never going on to sites where I was not allowed to go. I was the pre-teen who thought nothing bad was ever going to happen, and if something bad happened I was tough enough to handle it... I never had any self-esteem til I met this person in a christian chat room... He was from a different country and was having a hard time ffinding God. We connected and started a long distance relationship. My mom caught me when I started calling him, and dumb pre-teen me didnt know the phone bill would show where I was calling too, and that the phone bill was $300 more than usual. She called the number I had been dialing and let this person know that I was under age and if he ever did anything she would have the cops all over his ass. I cried and did that whole pre-teen fit and said your ruining my life and so on.. But it didnt stop me.. Now I was living a double life, I never wanted to go out because I had to get to the computer on time to chat with him before he went to bed because of the time difference and so on... I was loosing touch with all my friends, not sharing anything with them because I knew they would make fun of me... As soon as I got to high school though my life suddenly changed... I wasent talking so much to this person online, I knew I was never going to see this person in my entire life and I wanted something better. I met a friend who today is my wonderful boyfriend and he saved my life from everything. I grew up and acted more mature than ever. Then it came time to tell this person who I left in the dust online that I never wanted to speak to him again. That I was going to grow up and stop this online/not safe chatting thing... This person was not having it, he became mad and never talked to me again.. This is what brings me to facebook...

Mind you this happened more than 11-12 years ago, and just up til 4 months ago this person who I had chatted with online made a profile of me on facebook, tried to steal my friends and take over my life...

I no longer have a facebook due to the fact that it is not safe anymore. Not safe for me, my friends, or my family... I wish the people of facebook would get their heads out of their asses and help people who are being attacked on facebook. I wish I never had to get rid of my facebook, but I was NOT going to be stepped on anymore. I never thought my past would come back to bite me in the ass, but it did and I have to deal with it like an adult now, which is very very new to me. I took the precautions once I joined facebook, but there was this person from my past who thought he could take over my name, and my face! And then take my friends... I was being attacked and facebook wouldnt do a damn thing! I hate the fact no matter how many times you or your friends block a person or report a person on facebook... It never gets taken care of! When I went to "deactivate" my account, facebook asked why! I said it was not safe, and they said to adjust my privacy/safety settings... This was damage to my life, and my safety was more than just what can my friends see and not see... I made sure I erased everything about me on facebook, so this person who was trying to be me could not get to my friends. This person was playing a sick game that I didnt want no part of...

In these last couple of years, I have really changed and grown up. I have used facebook to connect with old friends and new ones, not even thinking that someone someday would use information that I have shared against me...

To everyone who reads this, or if you stumble upon this blog just know that anywhere and everywhere you go online, you are not safe... You are not protected when they say you are. Never ever EVER give anything away about yourself. I know I sound like your parent, but trust me I know what it is like. I never listened to my mother, about being safe on the internet when I was younger and now I my past is coming back to haunt me.

I want nothing but safety to everyone, I have had to deal with my past actions, and I am making sure the actions I take today are the safest ones. I hope sharing my story has made it easier for you as parents to really talk to your kids, or as teens to watch what you say or do on the internet. Dont get sucked up into cyber bullying like I did because places like facebook are not going to help you, just like they didnt help me..

And another thing, I know I am not the best when it comes to grammar and punctuation so please excuse all the mistakes in my writing. I was and am more worried about getting my story onto my blog than if I used correct punctuation..

Love and God Bless!!
Panders

The start of a new life

Well it is the start of a new life. I have enrolled into college and my first fall semester is full of classes that I hope I wont flunk! I am made it easier on myself and I am taking classes here in Holland which I think will be a big stress reliever....

Now there is just the worries of a job. I need one realllllly bad! I love my Dad so much because he said he would talk to his boss about job opportunities and that just makes me nervous and happy all at the same time!!

I have college and new life gitters... I have my honey by my side and I cant wait for those two years to fly by so I can continue on to my next college and achieve my BA degree!! I cant wait for what lies ahead.

Anyone who is going through new life or first year college gitters I know what its like! And we are all doing this together.

<3 Panders

The Hearse Song... Scary Stories to tell in the Dark by Alvin Shwartz

Do you ever think as a hearse goes by,




that you may be the next to die?



They wrap you up in a big white sheet



From your head down to your feet.



They put you in a big black box,



And cover you up with dirt and rocks.



All goes well for about a week,



Then your coffin begins to leak.



The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out,



The worms play pinochle on your snout.



They eat your eyes, they eat your nose,



They eat the jelly between your toes.



A big green worm with rolling eyes,



Crawls in your stomach and out your eyes.



Your stomach turns a slimy green,



And pus pours out like whipping cream.



You spread it on a slice of bread,



And that's what you eat when you are dead.

Happy Birthday

God gave a gift to the world when you

were born-

a person who loves, who cares,

who sees a persons need and fills it,

who encourages and lifts people up,

who spends energy on others

rather than himself,

someone who touches each life he enters,

and makes a difference in the world,

because ripples of kindness flow outward

as each person you have touched, touches

others.

Your birthday deserves to be a national

holiday,

because you are a special treasure

for all that you've done.

May the love you have shown to others

return to you, multiplied.

I wish you the happiest of birthdays,

and many, many more,

so that others have time to appreciate you

as much as I do.

I love you honey. :) Happy Birthday

~Panders

love is everywhere

I love you!

أنا أحبّ أنت < Arabic

我爱你   < Chinese!

من دوست دارم   < Farsi

Je t'aime < French

Σ'αγαπώ < Greek

Jeg elsker deg < Norwegian

I love you comes in INFINITE WAYS! I love it!

Ich liebe dich (german) <3 Panders!

Books... Books... Books...

Reading a book helps me get away from this world. It broadens my imagination, and makes me feel like a little kid again. I get to dream about the suspence, the different endings, conversations with characters. Movies unless you hit it dead on SUCK when they are made after a book. At least people could wait a couple years! Maybe 10 years before making a movie. Let kids have their imaginations back. Give them a chance to make an army full of dragons or find sleeping beauty...

Lets seee..... The books I have been reading lately....

The Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer!
Wake Trilogy by Lisa McMann
Uglies Series by Scott Westerfeld
Miracle Myx by Dave Diotalevi
Crank by Ellen Hopkins
The Kite Runner by Khaled H.
A Thousand Splendid Sunds by Khaled H.

And current book is A long way gone, memoirs of a boy soldier by Ishnael Beah.

You should check these books out!! Keep reading... It only makes you stronger

<3 Panders

sex out the wazoo

Everywhere and anywhere the talk is about sex sex... oh yeah and SEX! I love the fact that people can freely talk about sex and that its always good to talk about... But not what I am hearing. People going at it 6 times a day! And you are 16 and living at home with your parents... Common now! That is a little low. I will not waste my breath on religion and such but you dont have sex now... Just dont! People dont listen to people around them, and it kills my heart to see relationships fall apart.

Its a game I secretly like to play... Which relationship will blow up in flames next! No I am kidding but its true that I think about it sometimes... I mean I want to smack some of my girlfriends for some of the things they bring to the table. I mean you dont discuss your relationship issues with your sister.. You do it with the persony your in a relationship with!!! And you dont discuss sex like you talking about the weather. It is a thing that should be kept near and dear to your heart and your partners. You are not COOL if you have sex ten times a week and your able to come to school and tell all your friends about it.

Be open with who ever parent your close to. Because its best they know now instead of walking in on you while you and your partner are going at it!!

My heart and soul goes out to my girlfriends and I swear that if any of their partners hurt them in any way shape or form I will be the first to cut their balls off! Then slap them with it. Because if they are sick enough to have sex with them then get up and walk away... They should be able to handle a slap to the face with their own balls..

I love you my sisters! And I just ask that if you are having problems or doubts or anything... TALK to your partner... Talk and listen is the best thing you can do for each other. And dont you dare ask about the weather. Talk about important things..

I love you my bear <3

Panders